The Heart's Content Blog

They say you should start each day with a spirit of gratitude. Doing so will help you have a more optimistic view on even the darkest of days. But could I challenge all of you married and/or in love people out there, to go a step further? Start your marriage, and even your entire relationship with a spirit of gratitude toward your significant other. In this day in age, it’s so easy to see all the bad happening in our lives before we ever acknowledge any of the good. It’s so easy to develop a spirit of complaining instead of one of contentment and joy. And unfortunately, it’s so easy to have a “the grass is always greener on the other side” mentality without taking the time to appreciate how beautiful your view already is. In marriages, this is no different. You spend most waking days, sunrise to sunset, with this person, and once the honeymoon is over, life begins to happen really quickly, and relationships get hard. But having a spirit of gratitude toward your spouse from the beginning, and every single day after, will help you remember all the joy and positive growth you’ve shared together, and will make your sweetie feel that much more loved and appreciated. But in what way can we show gratitude toward our spouses without seeming disingenuous? I’m so glad you asked! Today’s post shares just a few ways you can show gratitude toward the one you love that is meaningful for both parties involved!

1. Learn your spouse’s love language. If you haven’t read Gary Chapman’s book, “5 Love Languages,” stop what you’re doing and go read it now! In the book there are descriptions of 5 ways most individuals experience love in this world: Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, and Gift Giving. And if you don’t have enough time to read the book just yet, take a few minutes out of your busy day and take the online assessment. At the end you’ll discover some eye opening information on how you experience love. Have your spouse take the assessment too, discuss your results together, then make the study of your spouse’s love language your life’s aim. Loving your spouse in whichever way they experience love best, will make your love to them feel that much more meaningful.
2. Say, “thank you.” Seems simple enough, right? But when we get into the daily humdrum of life, sometimes this gets hard to remember. Although a gesture may be a spousal responsibility or act of generosity, it’s important to not take for granted how their actions positively effect you life every single day. For example, the other day I was having a really rough day with my toddler, James. As sweet as he can be, his “terrible twos” are slowly but surely becoming more present. And just when we reached our 3rd melt down in the course of an hour, Josh, my sweet hubby, walked in the door with a cup full of my favorite Baskin Robbins ice cream, and that seemingly small gesture made a major impact on my day. You bet I took every opportunity I could to thank him profusely! Whether it be out of responsibility, or the goodness of their heart, your spouse does things for you and with you because they LOVE you, and simply saying, “thank you,” shows you love them in return.
3. Pay it forward. I believe that the greatest joy you could ever receive in life is getting the chance to give back to the people who poured so much love and encouragement into your life. And those feelings are that much more prominent when the person you are giving back to is someone you love so deeply. This can be as simple as cooking your husband’s favorite meal, knowing that he worked hard to provide for you and your family. Or even giving your wife a soothing massage or a moment to get out of the house, in appreciation for all she does to care for your kids and your home. This is definitely Josh and my example, but think of ways to apply this to your marriage, and give back so much of the love your spouse has already given to you. Again, this is where love languages are so important because loving your spouse in that particular way will help them feel most special and appreciated. Remember, love involves reciprocity, and it never hurts to go the extra mile to show your spouse how much you love and appreciate them.

I hope this helps brighten your day, and your perspective on how to show gratitude in your marriage! What ways do you share gratitude with your spouse each day? Share them in the comments, and get some ideas from others going through the same incredible love journey as you!

Have some marriage advice or a story you’d like to share? Email me at adrienne@heartscontentevents.com to be a contributor for our Marriage Monday posts!

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