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February 6, 2017
Sometimes couples fight. I wish I could tell you that when you lock eyes with the person of your dreams every moment would feel like sunshine and rainbows. Unfortunately, that’s what we’re sold on all those romantic holidays, the media, movies, and even in my dearly beloved wedding industry. We’re led to believe that being in a relationship is a Cinderella-like fairytale. But it’s not. There are definitely good days, but are not so great days, too. There are days when you look at your spouse or significant other and say, “I’m the luckiest person alive!” But there are also those days when you may turn around in the middle of the night, look at your adorably sleeping companion, and think, “What the heck did I get myself into?” If you’ve never thought the latter, congratulations! Your relationship is perfect! But if your relationship, like most, has its joyful, but also difficult moments, take heart, and realize that this is not the end of the world. It’s all about your mindset. Instead of seeing a disagreement as an “end-all-be-all” situation, view it as an investment in your relationship. Understand, in life, and relationships, that the absence of conflict, is not the presence of peace. A couple, not in conflict, is not an automatic indication of a healthy and happy relationship. Being “in love” with someone is so much more than giving them chocolates on Valentine’s Day, having the best pick up lines, or even that fluttery feeling in the pit of your stomach. What matters most, is the couple’s ability and willingness to fight for one another and with one another through those difficult times in their marriage or relationship. In the course of our relationship, Josh and I have experienced our own challenges, but those trials have helped us grow together as husband and wife, as parents, and even as friends. We’re not perfect, and we’re definitely not experts, but we’ve learned so much on this incredible journey together, and we wanted to share a few lessons we’ve learned about how to fight fair, with you.
When couples view their disagreements as a vehicle to grow together and learn to love each other more effectively, they have a much better chance at winning together. It’s always important to remember that being in love is a journey–there are mountains, valleys, deep waters, and incredible views. But if you remember what’s most important, getting to your destination together, the journey there will become much more sweet.
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