"Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." Luke 6:45
The Heart's Content Blog
Giving The Best To Your Spouse And Not The Leftovers
Happy Marriage Monday everyone!!! I’m so excited to have Lauren of Lauren Simmons Photography on the blog, dropping some knowledge of tangible ways to give the very best to your spouse! We are kindred spirits not only because her hubby’s name is Josh, too, but because she also has an immense passion for encouraging meaningful marriages! I know her wisdom will be such a blessing to you guys! Enjoy!
Hi friends! I am pumped to be sharing over on my sweet friend, Adrienne’s blog today! Adrienne and I both have the same heart for relationships, marriage, and the commitment it takes for love to last.
Marriage is hard! A very wise, spiritual mentor once told me that 3 minutes into marriage you think you’ve “got this whole marriage thing down.” You’re both very nice to each other and you hold a plethora of patience. BUT 3 YEARS IN and you have no earthly idea how to do this marriage thing. That’s exactly where my husband and I are right now!
In 3 years we’ve grown a business, started 2 more businesses, bought a house, renovated a house, started aggressively paying off student loans, and had a baby. Not to mention all the things in between! Josh and I are both “go-getters” and we get stuff DONE. You give us an inch, we’ll go a mile. That kind of behavior is wonderful for owning businesses and serving your friends in their time of need, but it causes serious exhaustion by the end of the day. Three years in and that kind of schedule is wearing on us and since we wanted the next 60 years to be loving, joy-filled ones, we decided we were going to have to do something different. It’s just not nice to give your spouse your leftovers.
Filling Up Your Cup
“You can’t pour from an empty cup!” When you realize that you’re giving your spouse your leftovers instead of your best, it’s time for a priority check. If you’re giving your best to your work or serving other people, that automatically makes your husband below those priorities. OUCH! I can almost guarantee you didn’t get married so that you could put him at the bottom of the list.
Personally, one thing that keeps me in check with this is my relationship with God. Daily, I wake up early before anyone else, read my Bible, and pray. So for me, my priorities are:
- God (Josh is 100% okay with this!)
- Josh
- Our son Taylor
- Everything else
Leaving Margin in Your Daily Schedule
So, what things can YOU do to make sure you’re not giving your husband your leftovers? The answer is easy, but difficult to implement into your daily schedule. MARGIN, MARGIN, MARGIN. Leaving margin in your day isn’t only smart scheduling, it allows for room for unexpected things like traffic and delays. The more packed your schedule is, the more it drains your metaphorical cup. If that means you can’t get everything done, then you can’t get everything done. It pains me to even say that! But it’s true.
Do Something that Fills Your Cup
What do you do that fills your cup aka gives you life? Do you like reading, listening to music, painting, or sitting on a hammock? I encourage you to sit down in silence for 10 minutes and make a list of things that fill you up or give you life! You have to implement one of these things in your day even if it’s just for 20 minutes. It makes a world of a difference on your attitude (and patience level).
When You Can’t…
There are seasons of life where you just can’t give your best to your spouse, because of your circumstances. Try telling parents of a newborn to give their best to each other…they’re just trying to survive! Or in the event where you or/and your spouse are grieving the loss of a loved one. Maybe work is just having a busy season. When you can’t give your spouse your best, GIVE THEM GRACE. Having a mutual understanding of giving each other grace even when they (or you) are exhausted goes a long way. I don’t mean to make this sound easy either because it’s not. It’s hard to give grace. Give grace to your spouse because you love them and you want the best for them!
Lauren Simmons is a Virginia Wedding Photographer that serves joy-filled couples with full hearts! She is an educator and promoter of goal setting, balance, and rest. Her and her husband, Josh, live in the coastal city of Virginia Beach, VA with their 2-year-old son, Taylor.
Where to find Lauren
WEBSITE | FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM
Have some marriage advice or a testimony you’d like to share? Email me at adrienne@heartscontentevents.com to be a contributor for our Marriage Monday posts!
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